Harold's Mad Dash Home
by Themroc
Summary: The sequel to Harold Loves Meat!


When we last saw Harold, he was caught with his pants down in Mr.  
Green's shop. Upon being banished from that butcher shop for life,  
Harold ran out... naked! Now he's on his way home...  
Harold: "Damn! I can't believe I did that! Now I can never shop there  
ever again! Oh well. At least I got out all of that tweenage sexual   
tension I had!"  
Harold is now 3 blocks down the street. As he turns the corner, he  
bumps into Lila!  
Lila: "EEEEEEK! HAROLD! WHAT EVER ARE YOU DOING!"  
Harold: "Oof! Lila! Uh.."  
Harold's feeling woozy and collapses on Lila. They both fall to the  
ground with Harold on top... aroused!  
Lila: "Harold? Why? Why must you assault me like this?"  
Harold: "It's seriously not what you think! For one thing, I don't  
want you! I have Patty! And... and... Mr. Green was trying to molest  
me!"   
Lila: "Oh! Then get off of me and go get help!"   
Harold and Lila get up.  
Harold: "Promise not to tell anyone?"  
Lila: "But Harold, if Mr. Green is hurting young boys like yourself  
then everyone should know!"   
Harold: "Ok, that's nice. Look, I've really got to go Lila! Sorry  
about this!"  
Lila: "I'm serious about telling someone! I'm a good though awkward  
start. I had no idea that Mr. Green is a pedo. Yikes!"  
Harold: "I'm going! Save your moralizing garbage for later! I've to  
get outta here!"   
Lila: "Jesus loves you Harold! Poor Harold.  
Harold runs away. Eventually Lila notices a little mess that Harold  
left on her skirt...  
Lila: "Poor, poor Harold. I hope that he finds help... and clothes.  
Hold on... my skirt...he... he... OH MY GOD!"  
Harold is now 2 blocks away from his home! He's managed to so far get  
home with barely anyone noticing him! Except for Lila. It's probably  
also due to the fact that it's a cold, rainy day out.  
Harold: "Phew! My erection's gone! And my nipples are hard! Damn it's  
cold. At least I'm almost home!"   
Unfortunately for Harold, Helga and Phoebe are walking down the   
street. The two friends are having a nice conversation, when suddenly  
Harold bumps into Helga and falls to the ground!   
Harold: "Oof! Hey! What the- HELGA! PHOEBE!"  
Helga: "Oh... my... god!"  
Phoebe: "Ew. Naked Harold. He's so... fat."  
Helga: "No kidding! Now we're scarred for life! Damn, and I always  
wanted to see Arnold naked. Not you, fat ass!"  
Harold: "I'm sorry guys! I can explain!"   
Phoebe: "Please do!" Helga: "Crimney, you're sick! Why the fuck are you doing out on a  
cold day like this in your damn birthday suit?"  
Harold stands up.  
Harold: "I... was in a nude race! Yah, I'm a nudist! My nudist colony  
I just joined was having a race!"  
Helga: "I thought you were Jewish? You're nudist too? Anyhow, why are  
you out here? And how come we didn't here about this on the news or  
anything?"   
Harold: "First of all, there's something called privacy! My family and  
my nudist colony don't have to tell you guys anything! And secondly, I  
got lost!"  
Helga: "You got lost?"   
Harold: "Heh heh! Yeah! You know me! Stupid, fat Harold!"   
Brief silence  
Helga: "Ok, I'll buy it! However, I want as little to do with you as  
possible! Got it?"  
Harold: "Sure thing Helga! Well, I'm gonna go home now! See ya guys!"   
Harold finally runs home.  
Helga: "Man, was gross fat slob. It's scary knowing that he's a...  
nudist. Disgusting."   
Phoebe: "I'm suspicious though. Something doesn't seem right."  
Helga: "Well no shit Phoebe! We found out that Harold is a nudist!  
Geez!"  
2 blocks later, Harold has finally made it home! His parents aren't  
home yet, so he takes a warm shower and puts on some new clothes.  
Harold: "Now I'm warm and safe! Man, I've just made a major ass of  
myself! I violated Mr. Green's store, blew a load on Lila, and told  
Phoebe and Helga I'm a nudist. And I miss Patty! Oh Patty, why did you  
have to go see your grandparents this weekend!"  
Suddenly Harold hears his parents.  
Harold's Mom: "Oh Harold! We're home honey!"  
Harold's Dad: "We can't wait to hear about your first day on the job!"  
Harold exits his room and goes to see his parents.  
Harold: "Hi Mom and Dad!"  
The End...?

The epic saga continues...


End file.
